You know how sometimes you'll have a truly spectacular week and everything goes exactly as planned or better? That has been my last few weeks. Maybe I'm just an optimist. But this week truly tested my abilities and strength. So instead of putting up a depressing post about how hard clinicals were on me physically, mentally, and emotionally or talking about my pharm test Monday, I'm going to talk about why I am a nursing major and what keeps me going when everything feels like it's going downhill.
I didn't always want to be a nurse. I came to SWOSU as a pre-pharm major (who doesn't?) then switched to chem. After freshman year, I had a really rough summer and finally broke down. I won't go into that on here. But I firmly believe that with the right set of hands, you can build something up that's completely fallen apart into something stronger than before. After spending 4 hrs in an ER terrified beyond belief and several tense weeks, I started my fall semester of sophomore year. The idea of being a nurse first presented itself to me around the time I was taking my last summer final. My mom mentioned it in passing and I started thinking about it. More specifically, I thought about how scared I was in the ER and how I saw more nurses than anyone else. Then it hit me. I've always wanted to go into a field that allowed me to help people, preferably healthcare. Nursing fit everything I ever wanted to do. I got back to school, found an advisor, and changed majors without any hesitation. Back to that set of hands. I can honestly say that my rock is my mom. She has helped me dig myself out of more holes than I can count and watched me dig my way out of about the same number of holes. She's pushed me to question my beliefs, guided me down the right path, given me every opportunity she possibly could to make sure I would make it. I wouldn't be who I am without her. Even though we have our disagreements, I know she loves me despite my maddening persistence to do things my way. I get the feeling she knows I'll wake up one day and realize she's been right all along...I'm already starting to realize this. I can tell her anything and know she'll always be there for me. She epitomizes the woman I want to be. Strong, independent, loving, wise, fun-loving, and at peace with life...She's been with me during the hardest times of my life, and I'll never forget that. I guess thinking of how much she's overcome motivates me to keep pushing on. She reminds me that it's worth it to keep going, no matter how hard things seem. I have a habit of letting a lot of little things weigh down on me. My friends' problems in addition to my own. My mom reminds me to keep things in perspective and often acts as a sounding board for my ideas. She keeps me stable in the craziness of my rapidly changing life as I transition from the girl who hid from herself and everyone else to the woman who will change lives (hopefully!).
I know, that got a little mushy. But I love her. I wouldn't be who I am today without her.
